And so it was....
The run was advertised at the Lake Tug Scout hut and surprise surprise monday night is scout night, therefore no room for hashers in the carpark.....Who would have thought????
And so, after the pack walked from their cars, in Kambah, to the run site, HORNY RHINO was invited to give his virgin chalk talk. And I must say the pack were rather
chatty tonight and not showing the young hare proper respect. Well, HORNY RHINO went out on a limb, promising the world, setting a very high standard. Would he be able to
deliver........ NO, of course not, the evening was a classic hash fiasco of walrus proportions.
 
Virgin run reporter CAPT HORNBLOWER insisted that the run was all up hill, the whole trail, uphill. He personally got sucked in on checks on four occasions
He actually listened to and attempted to apply the Hares instructions and of course got himself way off trail looking for the non existant trail on trees and under cars
and rubbish bins and scouts. BETTY BOOP had a little fireside chat with the pack, as she does, letting us know which suburbs she would like MCTRASH to buy her houses in.
Greenway is ok, Oxley is okay but she turned her nose up at Kambah. Of course the BOOP had to use the facilities at the Scout hut at the start of the walk, and inevitably had
some woggle trouble with the toilet seat and took the next half hour trotting along trying to catch up with the elite walkers, so much so that two whole layers of clothing were
shed. At the circle, there was a great danger that the sparks would ignite the legendary "puffy coat" turning the BOOP into a glazed donut.
The drink stop was supposed to be some extravaganza but HIDDEN FLAGON contributed a gas stove to warm the mulled cordial which, being a relic from WWII, soon exploded,
thus forcing HR to serve up the mulled cordial COLD. However, there was no excuse for the two SMALL bags of chip lookalikes served up to the elite walkers.  
Anyway, all up, the run was given 2/10.
 
The disrespectful, noisy, chatty pack continued even after GerwertzTramminerSturmBahnFuhrer FRIZZY LIZZIE ordered the pack to circle up. There were some pre circle charges
including one for POPTART for being clueless, CRASH and BURN, SUNBEAM and GNASH for talking and a FORMAL pre emptive charge for GERBILS.
The PALE WHALE, came out of the Scout hut to see what all the noise was about and got himself abducted and was forced to drink the TUN.
The TempFuhrer announced Charges and immediately HIDDEN FLAGON said "Charges????" as if it was a new thing at hash. Time to get a new one DT, this ones got Dementia.
The usual charges were bandied about: GERBILs for hash whispering, HORNY RHINO - no trail on trees, ANKLE BITER for having a hash strategy, DATE DIVER was caught using 
the hash run to hunt for Pokemon. ANKLE BITER charged CRASH and BURN for misdirection, which, considering C&B is an Air traffic controller is a bit worrying, i mean , it's
bad enough that he has dyslexia and Myopia!!!!!
 
SQUATTER (no, not that one, the other one) was charged for wearing a scarf. 
ANKLE BITER was outed by BABs for being seen on FaceBook doing charity pushups. PUSHUPS FOR POKEMON or some such thing. 
BABBLING BROOK then beat ANKLE BITER in a pushup competition. Yup, you read it first in Hash Notes.
The weekly Dwarf Apocalypse was presented to the circle for taunts and belittlement.
POOSHOOTER rightly charged the hash pyro for parking across the Lake Tuggerernong main arterial bike path, thus holding up at least 70 commuters.
SEXCHANGE described how he got wet and wild and moist in Queensland.
DATE DIVER achieved 100 runs and 43 POKEMONS
POPTART was rewarded for a world class dummy spit. (She could dummy spit for England)
Disappointingly and unbelievable there were no rugby themed charges this week!!!!
Both DT and BB were poised to give the COTW this week
FRIZZY LIZZIE did a wonderful job as stand in GM this week and she was wonderfully complimented by SEXCHANGE (sorry, I dont know why I wrote that)
 
Next weeks run is the Memorial run for the dearly departed CRACKERS. I'm looking forward to the beige chicken.
Notes by: GRASSCUTTER